Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
