Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Randomize