Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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