New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
