My friends, they love my intelligence
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
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