There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.