I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Randomize
