im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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