I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
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