Dude my mom stole all your condoms
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Randomize
