Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
