Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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