I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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