Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Randomize
