she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize