Me too!
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
