My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
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