You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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