The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
two words...techno handjob
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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