I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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