She went from zero to smokin in five shots
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
