Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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