Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
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