brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
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