Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
He passed out mid-signature
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Randomize
