Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Randomize
