He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
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