When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Everclear isn't food dammit
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Randomize
