After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
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Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
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I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
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