You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Randomize
