I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Princesses don't give blow jobs
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
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