is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I am midnight drunk by noon
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Randomize
