oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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