Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
MIDGETS
????
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
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