Fine. I'll sleep in my office
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Someone came in the potted fern
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Randomize
