i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
