I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
