shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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