Your dad touched me again.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Randomize
