His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
