I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
