One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
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