That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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