I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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