Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
You need a sexual gate keeper
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
I did not marry a roomba.
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