i can't believe i had my finger in that
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
