things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
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