she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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