Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Randomize
