Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize