I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
Well douche your snatch and let's go!
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
I showed him my bush... on skype.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
Randomize