Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
