wanna go halves on a baby?
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
i think my mom watched the whole time
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
