ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
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