I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
me + whiskey = a bad person
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Randomize
