Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
Non-Jews are for practice
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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