just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
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