I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize