i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
