And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
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