It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
