I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
