How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
