My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
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