Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
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