Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
