Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
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I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
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im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
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