Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
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