Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Randomize
